Psalm 109:2-4 2 For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of deceit have they opened against me: They have spoken unto me with a lying tongue. 3 They have compassed me about also with words of hatred, And fought against me without a cause. 4 For my love they are my adversaries: But I give myself unto prayer.
These verses spoke to me this morning. They didn’t come from a devotional (well maybe verse 4). The past was filled with fallout due to a decision that I made to leave a toxic situation for me, and go with my true love. There were mistakes I made, and people felt betrayed, but the hatred and anger were prevalent. I had to pray to keep up my strength, and make it through.
No one wanted to listen to my side. They were upset at the fact that I had hurt my ex, and my son, who felt that I had abandoned him. He was 18 when I kicked him out of the house for continuing to disrespect me. That is a whole other story.
There were many who rallied to my ex’s side, and that is what I was hoping would happen. I still care for my ex, and for those who know me, really know me, it is very difficult for me to hurt someone. It killed me to watch my ex’s heart break in front of me. I don’t ever want to do that again. I prayed that he and his family would find peace and that God would mend their hearts. I prayed that God would guide my ex to find the one person that could make him happier than I ever could, but I digress.
The barbs that were thrown my way, and the names that I was called was nothing compared to the silence from my son and the words that he used against me. He had demoted me to just a womb, and I felt that a knife had been plunged into my soul. He wouldn’t speak to me. I would send him messages on his Facebook from time to time. I had apologized, but he thought it was not sincere and that I was just going through motions, ouch. I prayed that God would open his mind and give him the wisdom to see that there were two sides, and that I was not happy in the situation.
Venom, anger and hatred were being flung at me from all sides, and I prayed. I prayed every night and still pray, that the situation will resolve itself and that everyone I hurt will be touched by God and their hearts healed. I think I needed these verses this morning. They really spoke to me. I love how God does that, don’t you?
Until next time, God Bless