I have been thinking about my feelings for Paul’s birth father. Seeing him again brought back all the memories we made together in the short time that I was living with him. I will admit that I do love him, but my soul, spirit, and devotional love is with my husband, Mark. God has blessed me with a man who will not look another, loves me and shows it on a daily basis, and is always there for me, no matter what. It hasn’t been the easiest 12 years, but anything worth having is worth working for, and being in a marriage for twelve years has, sadly enough, even surprised my mother. She has always seen me as a quitter. Not the best encouragement, I know, but she has always made it clear to me that, when I start something, she is always waiting for me to quit.
I will explain. All of you who read this blog on a daily basis know that I have been bullied at school. I was made fun of and verbally bullied when I was in Girl Scouts as well (Yes, I was a girl Scout.). I left them, and didn’t look back because I didn’t need two places where I would go to be ridiculed. I was in band in elementary school, and lost interest. I believe that, during your life, you will try many things to see where niche is, and until you find the things that you love, you will have a lot of starts and stops. This doesn’t make me a quitter, at least not in my opinion. Alas, my mom never sees that way. It is sad when you come to the realization that, no matter what you do, it will never please your mother simply because it is not what she wanted you to do. Have any of you this problem?