It is before ten in the morning at my house, and I am up before my husband. This is a regular occurrence as he works second shift and does not get home until 2. I do not mind it. We spend most mornings together before I come into the office to begin the deliberation of what needs to be done. I like the quiet, and I treasure the these moments in the morning, regretting only that I don’t always have something to type. I have poetry that I have written through the years in notebooks, press-boards binders and such, and I contemplate posting them here. The reason being is that there are some of those that would expose the pain that I went through as a teen and in later years as well. We all go through our trials, and, in the process come out the other side a changed person. There are those who refuse to recount the past, hoping it will disappear like winter snows, and there are those that wallow in their suffering, wearing down those who listen and try to help.
Those people that file away their pain and do not face and deal with it are those who, in my opinion suffer through depression that is usually drowned in pills. *holds arms up with palms out* I know that there are those out there who are bi-polar and manic depressive. I am not referring to those people. I am referring to those people who have decided to lock away their pain and hurt and not deal with what happened to them in order to be stronger in spirit. Pills only lessen the effect. It my thought that one wouldn’t need anti-depressants if they faced what happened to them and grew stronger because of it.
I have never understood pity parties. I believe that the only thing pitying yourself gains is the annoyed glances and exasperated sighs of those that have tried to help you. People are only there for you so long as they get the impression that you are trying to better yourself and move on, not anchoring yourself to the pain and hurt that you have suffered. An anchor only weighs you down, and in retrospect, does not allow you to move forward. You were not born in misery, and in misery you should not stay. There are lessons to be learned in life, and they can only be learned when you live life, and not shut yourself away.
God brought all of us into this world out of love and we brought joy to our parents with every accomplishment. We brought pain with every disappointment and betrayal of trust. There are those who would blame God for the evil in the world and shake angry fists at him for the things they endure. They forget about free will, and that there are those who choose to do evil and hurt others. Though it is hard to be forgiving in a world that looks as if it is falling apart at the seams, it is those people who have wronged you that you need to forgive. Not for them, for yourself. Yes, I know, it is a foreign concept to some, but hear me out.
If you hold on to the pain, and turmoil that people have inflicted on you, your spirit becomes weak. You become less the person God intended you to be, and more of a bitter person, jaded, and angry. Though you may not inflict pain and hurt on others, you are hurting yourself and God does not want that for you. If you are forever stuck in the moment that scarred you, you cannot grow as a Child of God, and become all that God wants you to be. He does not want you to suffer and wallow. He wants you to thrive, live, and love life to the fullest. The bible tells us this, but here is a more down-home way of putting it, and if you are a parent, this will hit home a little more.
You, (Yes, moms and dads, I am talking to you.) want the best for your child(ren). You love them no matter what the cost and guide them as best you can. You rejoice when they triumph, and you hurt when they hurt. Think about that for a second. You hurt when they hurt. We are God’s children, and as such, he loves us fiercely. He loves us when we acknowledge Him, and he rejoices when we follow His instruction. He also knows when we hurt and are suffering, and He suffers with us for it is then that most of us blame Him for our situation. He hurts for us. He only wants the best for us, and he hurts for us when we turn away from Him. He cannot give us support and strength in our time of need if we do not ask.
When we strike out to do things on our own, without His aid, we become the children whose parents lament the choice made and can only stand on the sidelines hoping they will come to their senses and realize that we were there for them the whole time. This is God when we walk away from Him. This is God when we take credit for the gifts He has bestowed upon us. This is God when we scream to the heavens and ask: “What did I do to deserve this, God?”; “Why me, God?”; “Where were you when I needed you, God?” He is always there, watching and waiting for you to ask for help. He weeps when you blame Him for your sorrow. Give Him reasons to rejoice. Make Him feel needed, loved and wanted in your life. After, all, when you look at it, isn’t that what any parent wants?
Until next time, God Bless.