Posted in Personal

Standing the Express Lane to Hell,

and I have my hand-basket.

Once again, I sit here and let my mind ponder things that bother me.  It happens a lot.  They sadden, not upset me, because I can only control my own actions, but I cannot help but feel sadness when I watch the news and listen to it on internet radio.  It seems that my little joke is coming to fruition, and I might be forced not to say it anymore.  

This world is going to Hell in a Hand-Basket and we’re in the express lane with less than 10 items.

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Posted in Self-Improvement, Walks With God

As I sit…

It is before ten in the morning at my house, and I am up before my husband.  This is a regular occurrence as he works second shift and does not get home until 2.  I do not mind it.  We spend most mornings together before I come into the office to begin the deliberation of what needs to be done.  I like the quiet, and I treasure the these moments in the morning, regretting only that I don’t always have something to type.  I have poetry that I have written through the years in notebooks, press-boards binders and such, and I contemplate posting them here.  The reason being is that there are some of those that would expose the pain that I went through as a teen and in later years as well.  We all go through our trials, and, in the process come out the other side a changed person.  There are those who refuse to recount the past, hoping it will disappear like winter snows, and there are those that wallow in their suffering, wearing down those who listen and try to help.  

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Posted in Personal

Reflections of a Granddaughter… My Grandfather’s Love

Bear with me.  I have been feeling nostalgic lately.
 

There is no love like the love of a grandparent.  I have had three and one great that I have been blessed to meet and get to know, and love.  They have all passed away, and each one taught me something different.  

Rafael Rodriguez, whom God called home January 4, 1988, was the only grandfather I had the pleasure of getting to know and cherish.  He was tall, around 6’6″, I think, and the most gentle person I ever knew.  He was soft spoken, laid back, funny, caring, fiercely loyal, and in love with a woman that did nothing but tear my mother down.  I think the first lesson he taught me was that love knows no bounds, but I digress.  

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Posted in General, Walks With God

You learn a lot…

As I sit here and type, the thoughts that are running through my head are taking shape.  There are a lot of things that we learn as we take the journey through life.  Some of these things are funny, some ironic, and others are very profound.  Often, we don’t even know we are learning them until we look back on our lives and see how far we’ve come with the years God has blessed us with having.  

As small children, we were born with unconditional love.  The type of love God wants us to have for all of our fellow brothers and sisters.  We are color blind, and know only that the kid across the street loves to play as much as we do.  We don’t care that they sound funny, have a limp, or that they are a different color.  They are a playmate, a friend.  Then, we begin to listen to our parents as they shape the way we think and behave.  

For me, growing up wasn’t hard.  I wasn’t spoiled as some people would think an only child would.  I was given things, when I earned them.  I was punished when I missed stepped and tested my parents.  I learned that parents can only be pushed so far, and that disrespect was punished.  I did have chores put on me, and I learned that doing them had their own reward.  My journey in earning and saving money had begun.  Yes, I got upset when they told me no to something that was beyond my reach financially, but I soon got over it, and found a way to obtain it.  

School taught me that children can be cruel.  Twelve years of ridicule, being laughed at, and made fun of made me strong.  I learned that it didn’t matter what they said, only what I believed.  Looking back, I am amazed that I didn’t try to kill myself.  There were plenty of times I felt the world would be better off without me.  I learned to hate those that constantly made fun of me, and wished that school would end so I didn’t have to keep going back to that hell.  I still have scars for those twelve years.  Only now, they are badges of honor.  I use them to teach others how to ignore the bullies, and listen to God’s words.  I wouldn’t go through that again if I had the chance.  Once was definitely enough.  I hated school.  Can you blame me?  

I got pregnant soon after I graduated.  I called the next few years my “rebel without a clue” years.  I ran off with the biological father of my what was soon-to-be son.  I found out that things could be a lot worse.  Not knowing whether the roof that was over my head today would be there tomorrow or whether there would be enough food for everyone sobered me up to the fact that I really had nothing to complain about when it came to my parents.  I was kicked out of the apartment when I was eight months pregnant, and I went back home.  

My mother often thought that I came home as a last resort, but I was thinking of coming home the whole time I was away.  I just didn’t know if they would have me after I left.  I knew that I had hurt them.  I was scared to ask if I could come back home.  I don’t know why, but I was nervous that they would be too hurt to take me back.  I learned otherwise.  Your parents will always take you back.  It may different, and you may have to adjust to new a feeling, but they will always welcome you home.  

Then, I learned the most important lesson of all through all my life.  God is always with you.  He is patient as he waits for you to come home.  He is always speaking to you, though you do not always listen.  He loves you unconditionally, giving everything to make sure you feel loved.  He forgives you your transgressions.  He knows that you need to stretch your wings and travel your own path before you realize the road you are travelling will lead back to Him.  He lifts you up when you feel as if you are falling, and strengthens you when you feel weak.  He shows you how strong and beautiful you are at those moments when you feel unimportant, ugly, and feel like giving up.  He teaches you strength, love, compassion, patience, and generosity.  You need only to stop and listen with your soul and heart.  

Until next time, God Bless you all.

Posted in Personal

It’s Mother’s Day…

And here I am at work. This should be illegal. It is a holiday, after all. It’s a day for all the moms to be spoiled by breakfast in bed, a nice brunch, a spa day or any number of things that have to do with relaxing and doing nothing. We are the ones, everything considered, that manages the house, negotiates rewards, delegates authority, keeps the piece, divides the work load, manages the finances, and any number of other things we take it upon ourselves to do. We would need an entire closet just for the number of hats we wear on a daily basis.

God made mothers to do everything a father couldn’t fathom. He gave us a heart big enough to love our children, unconditionally but strong enough to be stern when needed. He gave us two arms to hold, hug, and comfort as well as lift our loved ones from the depths of despair. He gave us strong shoulders to bear heavy burdens. He gave us tears to shed for loved ones gone, and to prove that even the strong have limits.

Happy Mother’s Day and God Bless…

Now, get off the computer, and spoil yourself today! That’s an order! 🙂

Posted in Walks With God

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

I guess God has something else for me to do.

Romans 8:28 We are all aware that God works with those who love Him, those who have been called in accordance with His purpose, and turns everything into their good.

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We make to-do lists, shopping lists, and make appointments to see friends, family, and, in some cases, clients and customers.  

You prioritize, scrutinize, and double check our lists.  All this we do the day before, in order to be more efficient.  You wake up the next morning with a sense of purpose, fully intending to do everything on our list.  Then, you find out the coffee maker wasn’t set; there isn’t enough in the fridge for breakfast, your clothes need to be ironed, and you can’t remember what you did with your keys.  You’re frustrated, a little angry, and stress is beginning to nag at you, and the day hasn’t even begun!  You call your boss to let him know that you are going to be late.  You turn on the TV, listening to the background noise as you fumble through an improvised breakfast; it’s 8:46 a.m. September 11, 2001.  That’s when you hear it.

Pat Carroll: WCBS news time, 8:48, it’s traffic and weather together sponsored by Henry Miller’s Theatre. Tom Kaminski, Chopper 880.
Tom Kaminski: Alright uh, Pat, we are just currently getting a look…at the World Trade Center, We have something that has happened here at the World Trade Center. We noticed flame and an awful lot of smoke from one of the towers of the World Trade Center. We are just coming up on this scene, this is easily three-quarters of the way up…we are…this is…whatever has occurred has just occurred, uh, within minutes and, uh, we are trying to determine exactly what that is. But currently we have a lot of smoke at the top of the towers of the World Trade Center, we will keep you posted.

You fall into the sofa in front of the television in total shock. You work on the 93rd floor.  This can’t be happening. You think to yourself.  I just spoke to my boss.  It has happened, and because your morning was going bad, you’re home and not there.

Continue reading “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.”

Posted in Walks With God

Did You Ask God for Forgiveness?

Are you still doing that thing you asked for forgiveness for?

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Forgiveness, a trait all of us should practice, both giving and asking, but what happens when “I’m sorry” becomes a token phrase, and not words spoken with sincerity?  What happens when “Please, forgive me.” becomes the go-to phrase, but you are guilty for doing the very thing you apologized for doing?  Are they in their rights not to forgive you?  

Hebrews 6:4-5 4 As for those who were once brought into the light and tasted the gift from heaven, and received a share of the Holy Spirit  5 and tasted the goodness of God’s message and the powers of the world to come…

In Hebrews, we have the eternal question answered, but on a grand scale.  His children have received the many blessings from Him through Christ, and have tasted what it is to be Children of God.  They have received His grace, wisdom, and love, but, under the many pressures of society not fully accepting Christianity, have fallen victim to peer pressure.

Continue reading “Did You Ask God for Forgiveness?”