Posted in Personal

A Mother’s Lament

My 20-yr-old.
He was about 17 in
this picture.

This is my son.  He is no longer living with us, and though I know it was his disrespect that ultimately drove me to to take the very roof from over his head at 18, I still, on occasion, look back and try to see what I could have done differently to avoid it altogether. I have been told that it was not my fault, and that he made his choices.  I know this, but somehow, it still nags me.  

I will not go into details as to what happened. (I know that the internet is not private.)  All I will say is that an ultimately unforgivable show of disrespect caused me to make the hardest decision of a mother’s life, expelling my son from his home.  The disrespect on his behalf had been building for some time, and I had been letting it slide, but not without argument and protest, but I could no longer allow it.  It had gotten to a point where I just could not put up with it any longer.  

It hurt my heart that day, to oust him.  Everyday after, I was hoping he would come to his senses, but he is still adrift on a sea of uncertainty.  He may have a bit of direction now, but I can’t help but think from time to time, that there could have been something I could have done to prevent it.  I know it was his choice to be rebellious, and one thing lead to another, but as a mother, I cannot help but mentally tick off a list to see if there was anything I missed or did wrong.  

He is very artistic and, on occasion, very poetic.  He is intelligent, and he can be wise, when he wishes.  He does visit and call from time to time.  This makes me happy.  He does make it a point to make family dinners, birthdays, and family holiday events.  This lets me know I did something right.  I was very scared when everything went down, that he would not even do that, being angry with me at casting him out.  What hurts me is seeing him living off the kindness of his friends and his friends parents.  I didn’t raise him this way, and it upsets me.  I have never given him living examples of laziness or living off of others.  I just don’t know.

Until next time, God Bless.

Posted in Walks With God

Keep it Simple, Spiritually…

Or Don’t look for Him too hard, you may not find Him.

The Book of Wisdom.
A lost book of the bible.

Wisdom 1:1-2 Love uprightness you who are rulers on earth, be properly disposed towards the Lord and seek Him in simplicity of heart; 2 for he will be found by those who do not put Him to the test, revealing himself to those who do not mistrust Him.

We all journey to look for God and Jesus Christ.  We search within ourselves, and try to find a comfortable place to commune with Him, whether it be a brick and mortar building, your backyard, or gathering with friends.  Some read the bible and pray, only to harbor frustration and do the things that God does not consider upright.  There are those who try to read too much into the lessons of the bible, hoping to glean that last little drop to answer questions so they can believe in Him as a “better” Christian.  

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Posted in Walks With God

Excuse me Ma’am, but Can You describe the thief?

“Well, um, he is there every morning, noon, and night.  He mocks me when I am having fun, and drags on endlessly when I am waiting to do something else.  He is always there, watching, waiting, and stealing my youth, my days and my years.”

“What is his name, ma’am?  Do you have an idea of what people call him?”

“Yes, TIME”

Give that back. I am not
ready to grow up!


Ephesians 5:15-16 15 So be very careful about the sort of lives you lead, like intelligent and not like senseless people.  16 Make the best of the present time, for is is a wicked age.

Time, it is ever elusive, yet ever present.  It seems to drag when your work is slow, but zip by when you are having fun and enjoying yourself.  It is also our enemy at times, running out before our work is done.  We use phrases like “I don’t have the time.” or “I ran out of time.” and even “Where did the time go?”  As we look around, we see thieves, and murderers and all sorts of people doing evil deeds,  but we are helpless to do anything but see the next victim on the news.  

We struggle with managing time in our own lives, balancing the spiritual with the mundane, the necessary with the recreational.  The balance is what we strive for, but often times is just out of reach.  There are always things at the end of the day that we didn’t get to do.  

In our spiritual lives, we often say that we are going to listen to God more, and we are going to pray to God more, and we are going to read the Bible more, but many of us fill our days with judgement, spite, anger, jealousy, and other negative aspects of our nature that take us away from God.  We forget to make the conscious effort to think before we act or speak, knowing that we do affects others, and takes from them a precious thing, time.  When others throw hateful words in our direction, time is also stolen from us, because we have to take time to heal, and some of us get lost in sadness and depression, and never find our way out.  

God wants us to be intelligent people, not the aimless masses who lash out and are hateful.  He wants us, through Him, to think about our actions, and, in so doing, walk the path that leads closer to him, and further from evil.  

Until Next time, God Bless.

Posted in Walks With God

Watch out!!! Your Heart Might be in Danger!!!

…Or Don’t let your heart be deceived.

Proverbs 4:23 More than all else, keep watch over your heart, since here are the wellsprings of life.

Okay, first, He tells us to love others as our neighbor, and to treat them as we would like to be treated, and now He is telling us to guard our hearts. What? Be suspicious? What happened to all that talk of love and caring?

God knows the evil that can lurk in the hearts of men. As his creations, he knows we are capable of doing both great and terrible deeds. He is also aware of what happens when those evil deeds are done to those who follow Him. Abuse, hatred, deception, adultery, they all hurt us, our hearts, and in turn, leave our spirit damaged, and afraid to live life as He wants us to live it. He wants us to be happy and live a life filled with blessings. He doesn’t want us so afraid of being hurt that we lock ourselves away in the proverbial tower where no one can hurt us.

Instead, He has given us the tools to discover deception in all its forms, but we must make the conscious effort to do so. This is why we must look, listen, and take heed of the signs all around us. We all want to receive love and help others, but we do want to be used and taken advantage of in the process.

Until next time, God Bless.

Posted in Walks With God

Happiness is its own reward.

…Or no richer person has walked the earth than one who is content with the Lord and what they possess.

1 Timothy 6:6 Religion, of course, does bring large profit, but only to those who are content with what they have.

Money, stocks, investment portfolios, millions or billions of dollars, what do they all have in common?  They are are cold, devoid of life, personality, caring, and they do not have the capacity to love, nourish, or uplift you.  Sure, we all need money to pay bills, treat ourselves, and, on occasion, live like the rich, but when you take away the home, the cars, all of your possessions, and even your job, are you truly happy?  Could you be truly happy? There are those who make less then you, and have smiles on their faces, and a bounce in their step.  They are content.  They have their family to love and guide them and the Heavenly Father to show them the way.  They may be striving for something better, but they don’t belly-ache about not having it now.  They are in the moment, happy and satisfied knowing that God will provide if they keep moving forward.  Are you?

Continue reading “Happiness is its own reward.”

Posted in Walks With God

Use That Backbone. I know you have one.

…Or stand your ground, and let people tremble.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not told you: Be strong and stand firm?  Be fearless and undaunted, for go where you may, Yahweh your God is with you.

A sad day for the Isrealites has come.  Moses, their prophet and deliverer has passed away.  This has left God’s Chosen disheartened, weeping, and grieving.  In the midst of all the despair, Yahweh, God, has called upon Joshua to lead the people into the land promised to them.  The mantle has been passed, but Joshua is a bit different than Moses, and sometimes doesn’t follow, to the letter, what God asks.  He gets them ready to go into the land, but instead of marching into the promised land, he sends spies ahead to scout.  This is not what God wanted him to do.  God wanted him to march into the lands and claim them, without doubt or fear.

Continue reading “Use That Backbone. I know you have one.”

Posted in Walks With God

Making Changes…

For the better, we hope.

Deuteronomy 30:15 Look, today I am offering you life and prosperity, death and disaster.

So, here is Moses, leading his people to the promise land at the command of Yahweh.  It hasn’t been an easy road.  He has put up with a lot.  The people, who now seemed content to go back to Egypt, complain, ask him why and constantly question his motives.  Now, they are in Moab, and he is, once again trying to get them to tow the line.  We have all been in positions that has forced our hand.  It makes us feel that we are the heavy, and we are the only ones doing anything that gives glory to God.  The problem is that bad habits creep up on us as well, and we must recognize them for what they are, and make the necessary changes.

Continue reading “Making Changes…”